The Importance of Blocking Negativity

Don’t Allow the Fearful or Defeatist Energy of Others to Derail Your Progress

Negativity is harmful – in healing, in life.

It can rob a person’s inner peace and it derail a person’s progress.

Negativity can erode self-confidence, chip away at faith, and steal away hope.

Fearful and defeatist thinking can be poisonous, and this is especially true in a healing process.

There is perhaps no time in life when a person is in more grave need of optimism, confidence, hope, and faith.

Day by day you are trying like heck to gain momentum, working to gain solid footing and a productive perspective.

In healing it is like you are inflating an air balloon, little by little, and that ballon is being prepared for the purpose of carrying you to brighter horizons.

But some people want to keep your balloon from taking flight.

Some days, all it takes is a dose of negativity from someone else to puncture your balloon, and then you must spend the next day or two working on repairs.

I feel very strongly about embracing positivity and blocking negativity.

Today I’m going to focus specifically on blocking out the negativity of others as it relates to what you have going on in your own healing process.

There can be a whole lot of negativity out there in “withdrawal land. Sometimes this negativity is blatant and intentional on the part of people who have a lot of work to do on themselves and their attitudes, but at other times this negativity is subtle, or even well-intentioned, and it might come from people who are truly just trying to help but lack awareness or wisdom.

Nevertheless, negativity is negativity, and it is the opposite of what a person needs in healing.

When I was working to heal, early on in withdrawal, I was still a member of a couple of the larger withdrawal forums/groups online. Those places had helped me at first; they had helped me to understand what I was going through, to an extent, and they had helped me to know that I wasn’t alone.

Some aspects of these groups are valuable, indeed lifelines for people struggling to find initial information and support with regards to tapers and withdrawal.

But other aspects of online groups can be damaging, and one of those damaging aspects is groupthink that turns people into “experts’ when they aren’t.

In fact, there are a lot of people on the internet who might claim they “know everything” about withdrawal and healing when, in fact, no one can know everything about withdrawal and healing, especially because the process is so individual.

People have different underlying things to work on—depression, nutrition, anxiety, trauma, self-image issues, discipline, goal-setting—and people have different tolerances, lifestyles, support systems, dreams, stresses, and interests that go into their day-to-day “healing picture.”

Groupthink is rarely helpful. It is often born of hysteria or reactive thinking; with regards to health, it often parrots pseudo-science or an agenda.

In your healing, there are many individual variables and your is an individual journey. Embrace this powerful truth.

Back to my example.

I was making progress in my own healing and seeing some major improvements.

However, I was still working through things, too, so I was vulnerable to suggestion and naysaying.

I was beginning to feel a little more confident about myself and my future, but then along came some people and opinions on a forum that caused me to question myself and my healing.

Sleep was a major problem for me early on in withdrawal, and I was drinking Yogi brand bedtime tea, which had tiny amounts of valerian root in it. That (along with time, stress management, lifestyle modifications, and exercise) were helping me to find some improvements in the sleep category.

I was hopeful.

But then along came someone on a forum, and this someone said that if I drank this bedtime tea, I would never heal (apparently “withdrawal groupthink” had deemed valerian root a zero tolerance “no-no” as it might interact with GABA receptors).

At first, these comments devastated me.

Had I just doomed myself to “unable to heal” status by drinking this tea? I wondered.

The tea was helpful for me, I didn’t want to give it up.

I worried, and I did what everyone does in withdrawal sometimes: I obsessed on the negative, thoughtless comments of others.

Until eventually I thought to myself, “Enough is enough! What do I care what this faceless person on a forum thinks about me and my life and my healing? I’m doing well (probably better than they are), and I know my truth. I’m making progress, and I’m going to keep drinking my darned tea and moving forward with what works for me.”

The tea/valerian root situation was just emblematic of something bigger. I had made the decision to move forward in my journey without outside interference or evaluation from people I didn't know or trust. That was important.

Listen, the bottom line is this: Don’t ever let someone else tell you that you are “doomed.”

Don’t ever let the doubts or negativity or armchair quarterbacking of someone else poke holes in your air balloon.

If someone tells you you’re doomed (i.e., that you won’t heal or that you’re healing will be slow or painful because you did or didn’t do X, Y, or Z), then that is negativity. Don’t focus on it.  

Instead, focus on ideas and people who embrace faith, balance and common sense.

If you keep moving forward in your healing journey and keep taking care of your body, mind, and soul in the way that is balanced and “best for you,” then you will find healing.

Blocking out the doubts and negativity of others is half the battle, and maybe the tougher half at that.

This week, promise yourself that you won’t focus on negativity or naysayers.

And remember to give yourself credit for every good thing you are doing for yourself and your health.

Keep working to find your own best way forward, and hold onto positive visions of where you are going in this very meaningful journey of yours!

Stick close to God, stick close to your dreams, reject negativity, and believe in the power of positivity. It is meaningful!

Until next time,

Michael