The Two Sides of the Self-Improvement Coin

We often think of self-improvement in terms of "cutting out" the negatives, but there is much more to real growth than this.

In Matthew 12:43-45, Jesus talks about the danger of simply trying to remove the negative in our lives through superficial or surface-level change that doesn’t involve the embracing of true spiritual renewal. In summary, and to expand, just trying to cut out the bad in life through self-discipline doesn’t really work. We must get excited about filling our lives with new things and also have a broader vision of the deeper improvements we desire. That way the “cutting out” doesn’t seem as difficult, and the change actually sticks because exciting transformation is taking place.

Here are the verses from Matthew:

“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first.”

Now again, in these verses Jesus is talking about deep spiritual transformation. Inviting the Spirit of God into the deepest areas of our heart and psyche and soul. Allowing ourselves to be led away from the world’s darkness because we are overwhelmed from the inside out by God’s light.

But I’d also like to talk about this “two sides to the coin” idea as it relates to other aspects of our lives, and the healing process. As you are working to get yourself healthier and feel better and stronger, try to think about your “WHY’s.” This will put you in touch with a broader and more powerful vision of the journey you are on.

Whether you are still tapering a medication or are already off and continuing to work on your progress, ask yourself WHY this journey is important. Is it so that you can find more emotional stability (or good emotions at all) on a consistent basis? Is it so that you can have more energy or better sleep eventually? Is it so that you can find the strength, courage, and mental clarity needed to take some important next steps in an aspect of your life? Is it so that you can be more present for family members? Is it so that you can finally heal from the past and move on in an important way? Is it so that you can learn to love God more deeply, and yourself as well?

List your "whys" this weekend, and this will help to motivate you along a journey of positive and deeper personal transformation.

Also, don’t just focus on cutting out the “negatives” as you move along your path, but also focus on how you will fill up that new space in your life. For example, cutting out prescription medications can obviously be a healthy thing, but then what will you fill that space with in terms of coping skills and factors that positively influence your neurochemical experience on a regular basis? The goal is not just to eliminate any negative influences of the medications over time, but also to fill your daily life up with as many positive influences as possible so that you can find empowerment, good emotions and greater mental peace on a regular basis.
These “positive influences” could include a healthier diet, better thinking and self-talk patterns, more sunlight, regular exercise, supplements, stress reduction, improved connections with others and God, and better daily routines. These things can all improve how we feel on a regular basis.

And if you are working to keep a strict diet, don’t only focus on what you will eliminate (say sugar, excess empty carbs, or excessive calories), but also focus on what you can add to nourish your body and improve your experience (healthy fats, more fruit, healthy snacks that you actually look forward to, etc.).

This line of thinking can be applied to almost anything. When I was younger and on medications I read a lot of true crime books. Looking back some were interesting (mostly mafia stories), but others were basically just junk filled with unproductive anecdotes and imagery. I basically stopped reading those sorts of books, but I replaced them with more biographies, memoirs and devotional books. I cut out a negative, but filled the space with something positive. The two sides of the improvement coin.

As you head into the weekend, take some time to: a) get in touch with your WHYs, and b) think about some fun and exciting ways to “fill the space” of eliminated negatives so that your journey isn’t only about self-discipline, but about adventure and meaningful self-edification as well.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed weekend,
Michael