The "Wish List" in Healing

If you were to ask a child what they wanted for Christmas, the answers would likely come fast and furious. Maybe a new bike, video game system or some sort of sports equipment would be the reply.
If you were to ask an adult what they wanted for Christmas there might be a little additional reflection time, but the answers might also revolve around adventure and leisure: a new car, boat or motorcycle might be the answer, or otherwise something in terms of a getaway, either international or domestic, might make the list.

If someone were to ask you want you wanted for Christmas this year (or for an early Christmas present this summer), what would your reply be? Perhaps there would be something in the way of new household décor or a getaway adventure that you’d ask for, but if you are like most people in healing your answers would be something more basic.

When a person is working through this sort of withdrawal and healing process, there are usually two things that they desire more than anything:

1) A return to feelings of “normalcy” in life
2) Greater inner peace

In the next couple of weeks we are going to be talking about how to find both of those things, even as you might be working through some tumultuous times. This week we’ll begin with “normalcy.”
There are many symptoms and situations in a healing process that can be quite the opposite of normal: they seem bizarre, otherworldly, and outside of what we are accustomed to experiencing. The physical pains can certainly be difficult to understand and cope with, but more than anything there are difficult mental and emotional struggles that, for lack of a better word, feel very “abnormal.”
However, as tough as it might be right now, you can find some semblance of normalcy by doing the following:

1) Accept that “abnormal” is normal for now, and temporary. First, no matter how out of the ordinary things might seem in your situation, please remember that the sorts of symptoms you are experiencing are a normal part of the process, for many people. And remember that they are not a permanent part of your life or an inherent part of who you are. Acceptance reduces additional feelings of fear and frustration, and in doing so allows a person to find more calm as they work through the steps of their process.

2) Create routines that lend structure to your days. A healthy morning routine might revolve around journaling, devotion time, breathing exercises, a shower, and a healthy breakfast. It could involve writing down a simple phrase, a “mantra” for the day (such as “Today is contributing to my healing”), or it could involve watching an uplifting video before beginning your day.

And a beneficial evening routine could be geared toward helping your body and mind to wind down before bedtime: taking a walk, taking a bath, making a gratitude list, and reading could all be a part of such a routine. These sorts of predictable and healing routines help to lend the day a welcome sense of structure and normalcy.

3) Live some life anyway. Even if it is difficult, try saying yes to a few plans, within reason. Say yes to an invite for coffee, or to a birthday party. Say yes to going to the gym or even joining a workout group. Say yes to getting out of the house for a tea or a for a daytrip to a nearby park. Say yes to planning an overnight getaway with a spouse. Even if you don’t feel totally “normal” during such activities, they help you to keep “one foot in the real world” during healing and in doing so lend greater feelings of normalcy to your life during this process.

Eventually the feelings of normalcy will return to greater and greater degrees, but for now do what you can to bring them into your days little by little. Every percentage point counts, and so do all of your efforts.

God bless your day in healing,
Michael